About this Blog

This blog is a tribute to my friend, Trisha Apte. It’s about honoring her, sorting through the twisted road of emotions that comes with mourning her. It’s a way to remember, and hopefully, to cope.

– Jamie




  1. Debbie Poslosky said,

    Your paim is so raw and so new. But what you are doing is reaching out to others in order to heal. All of us at some point in our lives experience great loss. Your ability to put it into words touches everyone. This blog is a gift to all who who have felt pain of any kind for it binds us together in a common language and gives us hope that we are not alone. That not only does someone understand, but that it will not always hurt so badly, and that we will be able to live our lives with joy again. This is a private journey for each of us who experiences loss. There is no road map, no guide book or time table. But allowing yourself to feel what you feel, and sharing those feelings is critical to your mental health. Why do bad things happen to good people? This is a question that has been around since the beginning of time. What would be a better question? I have found that by living my own life in a way that feels good each day helps during times like this. When my dad died I was so free to just grieve for him and miss him. I had no regrets. We loved each other every day. We treated each other well every day. There was not a day that went by that he did not know I loved him, and I did not know he loved me. We laughed together, we cried together, and we were there for each other. So when he died, it was too soon for me, and there was more of life I wanted to share with him, but I could remember with laughter and with warmth, and pride. From that moment on, I knew that that was a gift. So it is with you and Trisha. Her time with you was way too short. Too many experiences yet to have. But no regrets either, right? How many people can say that? Be grateful for your time together and live your life and have your friendships based on that. I love you.

  2. Mrs. E (Gayle Elzinga) said,

    Dearest Jamie,

    I am so sorry to learn about the loss of your dear friend. Please know that I am thinking of you these days and praying that ALL of beautiful color the world has to offer will again make itself known to you day by day as it has only just begun to
    and that as it does you will allow it to seep into your soul and lift you.
    Much love,

  3. Abe said,

    You are an amazing young woman! I get the depth of your pain as I know others who read your words do as well. Your gift for writing is something to cherish. I can feel it so well, as you describe what is in your heart. I know your writing helps you and I’m so grateful that you have that comfort. It will get better, it will get better, it will get better. Just keep living your life and doing what you do. I love you! Thank you for sharing you!

  4. A.B. said,

    I’m a Northwestern student who just graduated this year and stumbled upon this blog quite by accident. I have been fortunate enough to not lose a friend in my lifetime, but my Dad died, suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 45, when I was merely 12 years old. I don’t much remember the days or even weeks that followed the event. The rest of the year is pretty much a blur. It hurt to breathe somedays, hurt to wake up, hurt to eat, hurt to see people laugh, hurt to do mundane activities while my father had been cremated only a short while earlier. It’s been nearly ten years since it happened, and I have made peace with it. It took me 8 years to even confront the fact that I was clinically depressed, and even longer to fix myself through therapy and personal effort, but I’ve finally reached a place where every day isn’t an effort, a farce, a burden. Ten years. Please don’t ever give up on the belief that someday it will hurt less, and maybe even stop hurting altogether. Someday you WILL rejoice in her life without it being overshadowed by the pain of her death. I promise you this. Stay strong, and thank you for your words.

  5. Matthew Loper said,

    Hi Jamie,

    It’s been a long time since we’ve talked. I had to write, though, as soon as I discovered this blog entry.

    I was flipping through the fall Northwestern publication for alumni when I was absolutely dumbfounded to see that Trisha had passed away. I cannot believe someone so kind with such a bright spirit is gone from thsi earth.

    Which is why the words of your blog have resonated so much with me. Thank you for writing such a beautiful tribute to a once dear friend, and I hope that as time has gone by the stregnth of Trisha’s resounding spirit has only inspired you more.

    My heart aches knowing this world has lost Trisha’s presence.

    Be well,

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